Em (belovedfool) wrote,
Em
belovedfool

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Come to me in my dreams and touch me, kiss me, burn me away...

SLAVE TO MY ADDICTION, CLOSE MY EYES AND MEDITATE MY DEATH. HAVE I ANYTHING LEFT?

Saturday.

Woke up at half seven and went back to sleep and had a damn wierd dream. I was in some tea rooms down the street bella pasta is down, and i was with david and alice i think. I think it was alice - i have forgotten quite a bit. Then the evil queen from snow white came in and she had to be in an ice box otherwise she would burst into flames.

Somehow there became loads of chaos and the army were there with grenades and everything and i grabbed a waiter (who i remember thinking was really shy and cute) and ordered 'something nice' and he brought me a cappuchino (i dont know how i remembered that was what it was, or how i knew) and i slurped it and wondered if afterwards, when i was writing my LJ about it, if people would remark upon how i stayed calm in a crisis.

Dont ask. Then suddenly we were down the shambles looking for something, and we found a hose pipe and a fire hose so i grabbed them both and was heading through kings square back to this place. We saw this woman in a motorized wheelchair who asked us if this was daveygate, we said it was so she went down another street. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE DAVEYGATE IS! But its not there.

Suddenly alice (or whoever it was) goes "You shouldnt bring those, you know what david is like." and somehow i did know and it wasnt good (i think it was smth like him being like dozza and a pyromaniac and such) so i put them down. Then i rushed over to the tea rooms again and suddenly i was sat outside on a wall, only it wasnt down that street it was the church wall at the end of the shambles.

I was staring at the building and there were firefighters putting out the fire with their hoses and all i could think of was if david was ok. GG came out (she had been inside) and instead of asking her if she was ok i asked about david. Then mickey (who was there somehow) said that david "was not as ok as he had been, but was still ok. his hair was a bit singed though." and i remember wondering what he looked like and trying to see him. 

Then suddenly he was coming from behind with all his friends, and i wanted to cry because i was so happy he was ok and i wanted to hug him for ages and i wondered how he would react if i did. But he walked straight past me and i remember the wrenching feeling of hurt, and i was leaning almost off the wall to see where he had gone, trying to make excuses for why he hadnt greeted me, trying to see him.

Then i awoke.

It was really wierd, i remember the feelings and everything - i cant even begin to describe it properly. It was all in color and bewildering chaos and woah. Made no sense. It was so real, i thought it was real in the dream. Wierd.

Saturday was spent doing absolutely nothing. David called in the evening and my mum answered the phone and i was totally shocked David even had my number. It turned out he had intended to call round, but had broken his hand instead so couldnt. He was phoning to tell me he might pop round tomorow (now today, sunday) but i told him he couldnt since i was off to my grans. W00t.

Mother went off on one about him coming round and declared she didnt trust me anymore and suchlike, which wasnt nice but wasnt surprising either. Then she accused me of not trusting her. I do, but she expects me to after that??

Blah. Yeah Mikey rang about 5 minutes afterwards (she presumed i had invited him round too, i think she thought we were gonna have a mass orgie ^_~) and finally explained he had given david my number because david was online babbling apologies or something. I didnt really understand much cos my phone is retarded, but hey. Poor davey.

Sunday, today, was spent at my grans. We drove to TKmax and i found about 8 clothes i wanted to buy for holiday, and came away with one huge 'lollipop' glittery jumper which was too warm to even take. Ahh well. Got some swimwear and stuff and managed to just get back as peter & heidi were leaving. Peter has had another haircut and his hair is shorter than Mikeys *sigh*

David seems to be giving into my persuasion for him to not cut his hair. On friday a cute skater with long brown hair went by and i was like "Oooh hes got nice hair!" and david replyed with "Would you like me to have hair like that?" and i answered i would indeed. Hehe.

Lala. Watched some music tv, decided i liked razorlight even though alice didnt, and noted a few bands i needed to download. Lala. Watched tv, read book, decided i would go on the english course (i nearly cancelled) but beg to have my bday free so i could have a party WITH jenny, otherwise its gonna be major buggery. I wonder if ill be in buggery if i sneak out or smth?

Oh well it will be cool for no one to know me. I can amuse myself and be someone else, as alice always says "If i were someone else i would..." Heh im almost looking forward to it. A week left of work, maybe i should take some cookies or something in on my last day? Yes, that would be a good idea. Yes. Then a week in corfu, hell yeh i hope it doesnt rain ^_~ Davids off to france for the ENTIRE summer, aint that a downer???

I dunno. I hope i can meet some people on this course. I hope...i dont know. Mikey translated my dream for me, and after about an hour of discussion came up with the verdict "Your lonely." I could have worked that one out myself in half the time. He came up with a lot of other theories too, but i shant air them here ^^ Oh yes, Mickey came for tea last night, saturday that is, and that was fun. We sat for ages talking about work experiance and dreams, then watched velvet goldmine and ate tiramasu. Mmmm.

Im looking forward to kumquat liquer in greece. It sounds very nice indeed. Hehe. Adious then for now, love youz all.

Take away my pain and make my life content.

Peeling leeches off my heart, its getting colder in this flesh. Now im a drunk again, escaping sobrietys demons - they bore me.

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